Political manifesto things of interest

Here is a list of things of interest taken from the manifestos of various UK political parties. I’ve included mainly things that are plainly and clearly stated. Anything that is suggested, implied or “worked towards” is mostly ignored. I’ve also included some things that make me laugh, and things that make me apply for Canadian citizenship.

These things are of interest to me. Luckily though, I am for good things and against bad things so everyone should, of course, agree with me.

The Green party

• Cancel debt for 52 poorest countries
• Oppose the hugely wasteful, flawed and insecure ID card system
• Stop subsidising the aviation industry (currently to the tune of £9 billion)
• Decommision our nuclear weapons
• Replace WTO with something must better
• Return rail and tube networks to public ownership
• Replace VAT with a tax based on natural resource, pollution and waste.
• Stop using GDP to assess wealth
• Replace road tax with higher fuel duty. Drive less, pay less.
• Ban genetically modified food
• 30% organic production by 2012 target

The Liberal Democrats

• Cancel debt for some poor countries
• “Non-prosection” for possession and cultivation of cannabis for personal use and social supply, with a view to legalise with UN agreement.
• KILL ALL SUPERBUGS (whatever they are) (and no mention of addressing the over-use of anti-biotics, which cause them).
• Abolish tuition and top-up fees
• Replace council tax with local income tax, so the poorest don’t pay more than the richest
• Council powers to provide homes for the homeless in buildings unused for more than a year
• Replace local “first past the post” voting system with something fair instead. This should fix the local “two party” system.
• 60% of all household waste recyled by 2010
• Stop allowing religious organisations discriminating against LGBTs (for non-proselytising posts)

Labour

• Tough on terrorism, tough on the causes of terrorism
• Lot’s of talk about what they’ve already done, and promises to do it a bit better
• They have already cancelled debt of the worlds poorest countries, making the other parties debt cancellation policies redundant :p
• Generally, they aim to keep doing all the good things they’ve done, and the bad ones too (or at least not apologise for them ;)
• Spend some money on the rail system, but it’s not clear if it’s an increase, or enough to do the job (whatever the job is)
• Assistants for police officers, to help with all the paperwork (created by Labour policies)
• Electronic tagging for released prisoners and lie detector tests for paedophiles. Wonderful stuff
• Fingerprinting and biometric ID cards for immigrants, to control illegal immigration.
• Fingerprinting and biometric ID cards for UK citizens, to control, well, us.
• Electronic tagging of “unfounded” Asylum seekers (?!)
• Anti-terrorism “Control Orders” that contravene the European Convention on Human Rights.
• Submit to the demands of school dinner terrorist Jamie Oliver
• More paid leave for new mothers. Plans to help new dads with something similar.
• Double the stamp duty threshold
• End agricultural export subsidies by 2010

I’ve lumped the following parties together. See if you can guess which policies belong to which. (The policies from each party are grouped together.)
Conservative, the BNP, UKIP, Veritas:

• Party number 1
• Banning Junk food in schools, in accordance to the demands of Jamie bin Oliver.
• Health checks for immigrants to curb spread of disease. Anyone planning to stay longer than 12 months from outside the EU will undergo full medical tests. Any permanent immigrants will have to prove the won’t cost the NHS a lot. Presumably these people will be sent home if they fail.
• 5000 more police a year
• Cannabis back to class B drug (to keep those new police officers busy)
• Deportation of terrorist suspects. Yes, deportation. Of suspects.
• British border control police
• Withdraw from the 1951 Geneva Convention
• Fixed asylum seeker quota
• Prevent Scottish MPs voting in English matters. We’re English, they’re not.
• Hunting with dogs again! Woooo!
• More war spending
• Party number 2
• No more immigration
• An end to “multi-cultural brainwashing” in our schools. English heritage will be taught instead (presumably all the history of our murderous xenophobia will be emphasized)
• No more globalisation, except financial services (More third world debt)
• Everyone who completes National Service will be required to keep a standard issue military assault rifle at home.
• Oh yeah, National service. If you claim conciencious objector status, you can no longer vote, or get free university, or be self-employed (eh?)
• Troops withdrawn from Iraq and posted at the Channel tunnel and Kent ports, defending against illegal immigration.
• Repeal the Race Relations Act
• Abolish racial discrimination laws
• Reinstate corporal punishment and death sentence
• Allow “any force necessary” by householders against burglars
• Christianity is paramount in our schools
• Replace income tax with “progressive consumption tax”
• Abolish BBC license fee
• Halal and Kosher food banned
• No more immigration
• Stop funding France’s public transport system (huh?)
• Scrap public sponsorship of multi-cultural events
• The requested URL /policies/policies/policies.htm was not found on this server.
• Also, No more immigration
• Remove flouride from our drinking water
• Party number 3
• Actually I’m too bored to bother with UKIP or Vertias. Just see above.